Joke over...

"The wisest and the best of men, nay, the wisest and best of their actions, may be rendered ridiculous by a person whose first object in life is a joke.'

"Certainly," replied Elizabeth -- "there are such people, but I hope I am not one of them. I hope I never ridicule what is wise or good. Follies and nonsense, whims and inconsistencies do divert me, I own, and I laugh at them whenever I can."

- Jane Austen, Pride & Prejudice

I was thinking grumpily the other day that too many people who could quote you Elizabeth's words at the drop of a hat fail to notice that not only does Mr Darcy also have a point; Elizabeth concedes it. Humour can be a good weapon to deflate pomposity and misplaced solemnity, but it can also be used, and often is, to belittle seriousness which was in its proper place and didn't need or deserve belittling. Replying to a serious point in a debate with a joke is a form of putdown; it is saying, in effect, that the point is not worthy of a serious answer. It's also frequently a good way for someone to conceal the fact that they've lost the argument, not to mention a way of being offensive and then avoiding comeback. There's something awfully juvenile about people who, challenged on something they've just said, reply "I was only joking"; it's a bit like ringing a doorbell and running away. And of course the question "where's your sense of humour?", addressed to someone who's just taken legitimate offence at something, is pure playground bullying, a way of putting the victim in the wrong. It may be easier to do in Britain than in most other places, because Brits can easily be made ashamed of seriousness.

(Why yes, this is a little rantlet inspired by someone online, though not in LJ, who's forever saying things like "I was only teasing", and derailing debates that were going somewhere with misplaced "humour"!) Seriousness isn't always either solemn or pompous; sometimes it's just, you know, the way grown-ups talk?