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I'll be publishing a new collection with Seren in about April/May 2019. It's called Afternoons Go Nowhere and here's a poem from it:
Quarff Gap

A place named for nothing,
a nothing, a space
in a spine of hills,

a great scoop of sky
in a green spoon, a doorway
from east to west.

A place with a past
before history started.
Think the river back,

the giant whose bed
you stand in. It would run
where the skuas balance

between two hills,
where air pours
in place of water.

Something was here,
now nothing is. Nothing
fills the eye,

bowl-shaped, windblown,
the colour of weather,
salt-flavoured, singular.

Who knew nothing
could be such a landmark?
From the North Sea,

sailing up this coast,
bays blur; nesses flatten out,
it's hard to tell

townships apart.
But no one can miss
the gap, the emptiness

that signs its name
across landscape, sky,
that draws the fancy

like a window, or rather
the space in a ruined wall
where a window was.

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Why yes, this is a new departure. I've never interviewed someone twice before, but then none of my previous interviewees has ended up in quite such a different place, and not just geographically. I found there were a whole new lot of questions I wanted to ask him, about actually living as an author.

SHEENAGH: Last time we had a natter, you were still a serving policeman alongside writing novels about police procedure. Now, I believe, you and the force have parted company and you're living in Portugal, making your living through various kinds of writing, not just fiction but freelance jobs like online travel guides? How's that working out?

MIKE: Yes, I quit in 2015, but I’d been on a ‘career break’ since 2011 so – coupled with the move abroad – I was pretty far removed from all things police work-related. My life now is novels and freelancing, which is lovely most of the time but has led to some hairy moments. Until resigning from the Five-Oh I’d spent my entire working life on a guaranteed monthly salary so it took some – often painful – adjustment. At one point a year or so back we had eighteen Euros to our name, a hefty amount of unexpected bills to pay, and no more paydays on the horizon. Much sleep was lost. But you learn, and when the biggish chunks of money come in you discipline yourself not to spend all the cash on Blu-rays and booze, because, y’know, you have to feed the kids every now and again or they complain. It’s funny, I frequently have to disabuse people – especially family – of the notion that my life is spent bronzing my nipples on a beach in the Algarve, while occasionally typing a bit of crap for my publisher. We live in the mountains of central Portugal in a house that needs serious fixing up and where the winters are brutal. Both my wife and I work full time, often seven days a week and for ten to twelve hours a day. I think I sunbathed for an hour about two years back. But that’s the life of a freelancer, I suppose. We have to do it if we want to stay here, because neither of us has any desire to return to the UK – look at what’s going on there.

SHEENAGH: I am, I am... and wondering whether "what's going on here" is liable to reflect in your future books at all?

MIKE: The whole thing is just too depressing to write about, to be frank. I’d just point everyone in the direction of P D James’ The Children of Men. Or even Cuaron’s film adaptation; it stands up just as well. I worry that at some point in the not-too-distant future we will come to regard that novel – certainly the Omega section with its depiction of societal breakdown and state barbarity – as scarily prescient. Warden May, anyone?

SHEENAGH: We've mentioned that you are now an émigré, like several other writers I've interviewed – Barbara Marsh, Frank Dullaghan, Ruth Lacey.  Has this affected your writing at all? So far, your books have all still been set in South Wales. Are you finding it harder to write about Wales now you don't live there, or does distance actually clarify vision?

MIKE: It’s not the country, or whatever Welsh town or city the story is based in, that I have difficulty with now because I know Cardiff inside and out, and I have almost photographic memories of South Wales. It’s the police procedure and legislation I struggle with. As I’ve mentioned, it’s been a good while since I was a copper and it’s frightening how much has changed and what I’ve forgotten. I wanted to forget at first, I hated the job and was so happy to leave. But now it’s needs must for work, so I’m frequently on social media badgering old colleagues about stuff like firearms policy and radio etiquette. It’s one of my pet hates in crime fiction: getting the basics wrong, the plod vernacular and policies and techniques. So I do fret about that a little now. I’m lucky that my wife was a much better copper than me and has managed to retain an awful lot of information so I usually go whining to her first.

SHEENAGH: Are you liable to start setting books in Portugal?

MIKE: Lisbon features in one or two chapters in Ash and Bones, but I’m not sure if I’d want to have Portugal as the backdrop to an entire novel, certainly if they continue to be crime-related. I know the country has its problems but I don’t really want to know too much about its nasty side. After two decades as a cop I’ve had my fill of nastiness, thanks very much. That ruined Cardiff for me for many years, I had a real love/hate relationship with the place until recently because I’d seen some terrible things that skewed my perception of the capital and its people. I can separate it now, and see the good in the city while still writing about fictional bad things going on there. As for Portugal, perhaps if the local farming community are uncovered as a Europe-wide goat-smuggling ring I’ll write about it. Until then: probably not.

SHEENAGH: Your first two novels were police-procedural, but Ash and Bones was more a crime novel, though still very much informed by your police background, and I think the new one is too? What brought about the change?

MIKE: Honestly? Simple economics. Other than Booker winners, big names like McEwan and the odd fluke that nobody predicted would go stratospheric, literary novels don’t sell that many copies. My first two were well-received, and Pocket Notebook did quite well for a debut that was difficult to classify as it had a police milieu but wasn’t crime. Then in 2014 my then-publisher and I parted ways, and I was a little bit lost for a while. This was after I moved to Portugal so I had to have a serious rethink about how I was going to earn a living. I was also being nudged, ever so gently, towards writing something more commercial (that dirty word). It was either do that or give up novel-writing completely, which I seriously considered for a few dark months as I wasn’t enjoying being part of the business at all. In the end I got my act together and dug out an old character who’d already featured in three unpublished novels, and started writing. That got me a deal with the guys at Bonnier, meaning I could feed those pesky kids for a couple more years, at least until they’re old enough for me to put them in the army. And I’m still writing the standalones, they keep me from finally losing the last of my marbles.

SHEENAGH: Your protagonist Will managed to survive Ash and Bones and looks like being a fixture. This was also a bit of a change, as the protagonists of your first two ended up dead or totally dispirited… why did you decide on an ongoing character?

MIKE: I refer you to my last answer. A series is where it’s at, nowadays. Television, film and publishing are all desperately looking for the next big returning series or character. That ‘brand’, that ‘franchise’. I know some of this will be anathema to many writers I know, but thems the facts. You might have a beautifully written, powerfully moving literary novel but it won’t sell anywhere near as many copies as a pulpy, twisty thriller – probably with ‘girl’ in the title – and a female protagonist who has a drink problem/amnesia/a double life/insert affliction du jour here. Or as many copies as a crime series. I remember going to London for a meeting with a pretty powerful TV production company who were thinking of optioning my second novel, Ugly Bus. Once the coffee and small talk was out of the way, the conversation quickly turned to how the characters could be developed so they’d all return in a second, third or even fourth series. When I said they’d all end up in prison so you’d have no second series, I was thanked for my time and shown the door.

SHEENAGH: Weren't you tempted? Because I can easily see how they keep out of prison on that particular score anyway; the woman, understandably, doesn't complain. And I can see how both her story and the sergeant's continue, even the Bus crew if they're careful or devious enough... Does the consciousness of "series is where it's at" influence how you're writing now?  - I notice you still killed a promising character off in your last!

MIKE: The ‘series is where it’s at’ thing doesn’t even enter my head. It is what it is at this moment in my career: I have a deal to write three books, so that’s what I will do. I suppose that’s the police officer still in me: you’ve got a job, do it as best you can, then move on. So after that’s done, who knows? If the publisher doesn’t want any more MacReady novels then I’ll write something else. Your ‘track’ (i.e. track record of sales) is everything nowadays and if you don’t sell enough you’re out, regardless of whether you’re writing a series or not. A few months back I read a piece written by an agent lamenting how long-term relationships and nurturing by publishers is becoming increasingly rare, how authors aren’t given a chance to establish themselves or their ‘brand’ and make the publishing house some money back. It’s the nature of the business now, depressing as it is.

As for the Ugly Bus characters, the only one I’ve given serious consideration to returning to is the female character and how she navigates her life and career after those terrible events. That novel was a nightmare to write. It wasn’t just the ‘difficult second album’ syndrome. During the eighteen months of the first draft my wife and I were working full time opposite shifts, we had two children under four, moved house twice in the UK then abroad, I had another job as a creative writing tutor with nearly a hundred students on my books, and I was still to finish my University work. It was incredibly stressful. And then it was released to absolutely no fanfare and pretty much disappeared, which was heart-breaking. So I have mixed feelings about it – while I’m not sure I want to write another ninety thousand words following the same flawed/awful coppers, I’m hugely proud of the book itself: the effort it took to write, the characters and story and that final kicker that everyone gasped about.

SHEENAGH: By now, you must have had quite a lot to do with publishers, editors, the process of actually getting a book published and marketed.  What advice would you give a writer new to all that?

MIKE: A great question. It’s wonderful being published, it was a dream come true, and I’ve had moments – certainly in the beginning, with the people I met, the places I was wined and dined in – where I’ve had to pinch myself. But I always think of ‘The Wizard of Oz’, because as glorious as it is at first, and as terrific and enthusiastic as the people can be in publishing, you quickly discover what’s behind the curtain ain’t all that. It’s a job, and sometimes a ball-achingly tedious one, and occasionally a clench-your-fists-and-scream-at-the-skies-in-frustration one. And the reality is you’re probably not going to be a bestseller. You’re not going to become rich, or anywhere near comfortable. You are not going to be asked to opine on television panels or sit on a sofa opposite Jonathan Ross while you share ‘bantz’. I don’t want to come across as a miseryguts, but anyone who enters this world assuming they’ll soon be doing that Algarve thing I mentioned really needs to carefully manage their expectations or it will crush you. A bit of digging will reveal that the vast majority of authors out there still have ‘day jobs’. There’s a very good reason for that. So if I could narrow it down to one piece of advice, it would be: savour every moment, but don’t expect the world…

Mike's new novel, Unforgivable, comes out from Zaffre in July.
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It isn't often you look at a writer and think how well he would have done in some more practical line of business - mostly, the poorhouse would have beckoned - but the more I read Saki, the more I realise he should have gone into the advertising/promotions industry, if only he'd outlived the trenches of the Great War (it's good that we have his last words; sad that they should have been "Put that bloody cigarette out!"). Despite (or perhaps because of) his general contempt for ordinary folk, on the evidence of stories like The Secret Sin of Septimus Brope, Cousin Teresa and Filboid Studge: The Story of a Mouse That Helped, he had a very fair idea of how to sell a product or start a trend. Look at how, in "Filboid Studge", Mark Spayley manages to sell the ailing breakfast cereal Pipenta by rebranding it as something truly revolting (the new name says it all) that one eats not as a pleasure but as a duty, "for one's health". Basically, it's All-Bran.
"Once the womenfolk discovered that it was thoroughly unpalatable, their zeal in forcing it on their households knew no bounds. “You haven’t eaten your Filboid Studge!” would be screamed at the appetiteless clerk as he hurried weariedly from the breakfast-table, and his evening meal would be prefaced by a warmed-up mess which would be explained as “your Filboid Studge that you didn’t eat this morning.” Those strange fanatics who ostentatiously mortify themselves, inwardly and outwardly, with health biscuits and health garments, battened aggressively on the new food.

Clovis operates a similar reverse psychology when helping out his pal Septimus, who writes pop songs for a living but is having trouble thinking of anything new (or finding a decent set of rhymes for "Florrie"). Clovis's solution is inspired:
“How you bore me, Florrie,
With those eyes of vacant blue;
You’ll be very sorry, Florrie,
If I marry you.
Though I’m easygoin’, Florrie,
This I swear is true,
I’ll throw you down a quarry, Florrie,
If I marry you.”
Who can seriously doubt that this refreshing burst of honesty would, as Saki asserts with magnificent dismissiveness, have taken off "in Blackpool and other places where they sing"?

For Saki's other virtue in this field would have been never to overestimate his audience's intellect. The ditty that sweeps London in "Cousin Teresa" is the last word in pointless vacuity, but one can't deny the rhythm's catchy in the extreme. When its author Lucas finds himself in the honours list instead of his much worthier older brother who has been administering some far-flung bit of the Empire, we are meant to feel slightly shocked, but in fact, as the Minister observes, this is what the honours system was about then, as it is now: "It would be rather a popular move". Fay Weldon and Salman Rushdie both worked in advertising for a time, but I think Saki would have made a fortune at it; he had both the necessary verbal flair and imagination and the even more necessary complete cynicism.

Shame, in so many ways, about "that bloody cigarette".
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I've been thinking an awful lot about poetry anthologies lately, mainly because I've been reading an awful lot about poetry anthologies - I've heard, over the past year and especially the past few months, of umpteen coming out (even been invited to be in some). I thought at first it might be to do with the imminence of Christmas, since they make popular gifts, but I think it's more than that. The poet Jon Stone suggested on a Facebook thread that publishers found them more saleable than, for example, first collections by relative unknowns, and I think there's some truth in that, though I also think the very existence of Facebook is part of it - suddenly it has become a whole lot easier for an editor thinking of putting an anthology together to contact a large number of poets at once.

Anthologies of writing, prose as well as poetry, have always been an easy way in, a way to find writers you might not have known about and get a taste of their work so that you can then go on to read individual collections by those who please or interest you. In this respect they're very useful. Some, especially those on specific themes, have more permanent uses. They can show poets reacting differently over time to the same theme, like John Greening's "Accompanied Voices" about poetic reactions to musicians. Or they can show the reactions of different sectors of society - classes, genders - to the same event, like Tim Kendall's "Poetry of the First World War". Some showcase particular schools, which is handy for those who think in terms of schools, though to my mind the most interesting poets will never fit into one. An increasing number are "instant reaction" anthologies, got up in a hurry to promote some cause or protest at some wrong. These are by no means always poor: it depends on the editor's judgment and on how thoroughly, or hastily, the job is done, and "For Rhino in a Shrinking World", to take one example, is excellent. But I have read some I admired a lot less.

Ones that are purely time-based - Poetry of the Forties, Best of 2015 sort of titles - are, to my mind, only useful in the first sense, i.e. they give you a taste of many poets, allowing you then to choose the ones into whom you want to go more deeply. These anthologies are, if you like, the baby stage of reading poetry and I don't mean that as an insult, we all have to go through it. What worries me a little about the current plethora of anthologies is that I wonder if many readers are not getting beyond it at all, never delving deeper into one poet. I think this matters because, despite the critics' constant admonition that a poem should be able to "stand alone", one can actually often get a lot more out of seeing it in the context of a writer's other work. Motifs emerge and develop, as they do in music, becoming more haunting each time you encounter them. In a sense, when I read Louise Glück's latest, I am also re-reading The Wild Iris, Meadowlands, Averno and all the rest (and who wouldn't want to?). Poetry is genuinely more rewarding when one has more than a passing acquaintance with someone's work as a whole.

My other worry is in case more and more anthologies should lead to fewer and fewer first collections. Publishers only have a certain number of slots per year. I foresee many new poets who are well known in magazines and anthologies but who cannot for the life of them get a whole collection published. I don't actually want to read an anthology, note poets I should like to know more of, and then find there is no way of doing so, nothing behind the tempting facades, as if I'd stopped off in a promising tourist spot and found it a Potemkin village.
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It's been a problem ever since social networking online was invented. Writers, and still more, publishers, thought it was a heaven-sent way to advertise one's wares, and most publishers will urge their writers to use it to that end. Unfortunately there is a fine line between making people aware of what you do and making a total pest of yourself, and on networks like Facebook and Twitter (especially the former), people cross it every day. How Not To Promote One's Writing is dead easy: not only are there guides to it all over the internet, but we can see daily examples that, to anyone with an ounce of tact or style, beggar belief. Don't post reviews of your work on other people's timelines. Don't, when wishing them happy birthday, suggest in the next breath that they buy your book. Don't ask someone to add you as a friend and at once ask if they'd like to review your book. Don't add them, without asking, to groups that concern your work. Don't "invite" them online to events hundreds of miles from where they live, just because they're on your friends list. We could all go on....

But what would actually be more use is some guidance on what we can do by way of self-promotion, that will have the effect of making people want to know more, rather than less, about our work.

So here's my suggested method.

Facebook and Twitter are both good for making announcements. "I'm reading at Y on date Z". "Hey, I got into magazine X!"."My book got a good review at this link." All fine, as long as you say it once, not every day for a week, and as long as you also post about other stuff, preferably not all writing-related.

If you can, though, make even these posts not all about you, so that people other than you, your best friend and your doting mamma have an incentive to read them. It's a matter of phrasing. Try "Delighted to be reading at Y on date Z with those fine poets A and B" (tagged if you can). And "Folks might like to try magazine X; I just got a friendly reply from them" (if you can add "a timely reply", your friends will be not only interested but amazed). The third one properly goes "Many thanks to CD for his generous review at [link]". There's a degree of normal politeness in this, but it also works for you, in that it widens the circle of interest (A, B and CD will all also have their fans).

Have a writing blog, and post non-ephemeral stuff about writing on there first, linking from Facebook and Twitter. But make the blog about writing, not just your writing. Talk about general questions, ways of working, current debates in writing. Review other people's books and mention their successes. If you must think in terms of "what's in it for me", well, there's always the chance that if you review Jack's book, he may return the favour. But that isn't really the payback. What you are aiming for is to make your blog interesting to writers and readers in general, so that when you do choose to post about your own work, you will have an audience predisposed to listen.

And even posts about your own work can be given a more general application. Most writers are fascinated by others' ways of working, so post about your methods. A poem or an extract from a novel will have some audience, but a post about "why I chose to write this in the second person" or "the problems I had with the sestina form and why I persisted" will, I reckon, have more. Try to make blogposts fairly regularly, maybe between two and four a month, so that folk don't forget you're there. In my blogroll are good examples of how to do it: Emma Darwin, Jo Prescott, Emma Lee, just for a start. Read and comment on other blogs; keep up with what's going on in the forum.

Keep the blog for writing-related posts, but on social media, talk about everything under the sun as well as writing. What you are trying to avoid is people seeing your name in the newsfeed and thinking "oh dear, Fred's boring on about his work again".

Think of yourself as part of a community, and your job online as promoting and growing that community - if you like, it's about increasing the diameter of the pie, rather than fighting for a bigger slice of what there currently is.

That's what occurs to me offhand, anyway.
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I have a poem in a new anthology of poems inspired by popular culture, Double Bill, ed. Andy Jackson, pub. Red Squirrel Press. It has poems by a great many different poets, on subjects from Frank Sinatra to Bagpuss - mine, which is called "Oral English", is about Julian & Sandy from Round the Horne and was inspired by an anecdote of Barry Took's about a puzzled letter he once received from a Japanese gentleman who was trying to improve his colloquial English with the aid of The Bona Book of Julian and Sandy.  His letter went as follows: Ichigoro Yuchida to Barry Took: "Dear Sir, I am reading with an teacher, The Bona Book of Julian And Sandy. Mainly for the purposes of picking up slangs and very colloquial expressions. My English teacher is well trained in the job, and quite able in every way as a language teacher. Yet he still has some difficulty handling the queer and funny languages, brimming over the pages. I should be more than happy if you would kindly answer the following questions and let me know what they mean in plainer language. One, naff is it, page 25. Two, he's got the polari off hasn’t he. Three, but did you manage to drag yourself up on deck, page 27. I am sorry but I can't see what Mister Horne meant. Sincerely yours, Ichigoro Yuchida..." Took replied, with urbane courtesy, and a correspondence ensued.

You can buy Double Bill here or here. And here's the poem:
Oral English

Ichigoro Yuchida, keen to improve
his colloquial English, puzzles over

a text with his (equally baffled) teacher.
They can't seem to find dolly old eek

in the phrasebook.  And why, during a shipwreck,
should Mr Horne laugh when our heroes

drag themselves up on deck?  So many queries…
in the end, they think best to seek wisdom

from the writer, which is how they come,
courtesy of Mr Took, to knowledge

of some comic stereotypes, a secret language,
a national habit of wryness, a way of talking

as if one could make a joke of anything,
of code, of hiding from the law, of love.
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An article in yesterday's Grauniad quoted the Poem We Don't Mention and linked to a page at the Wondering Minstrels site that had printed it. Foolishly I followed to see if they'd at least printed it without any typos, and was soon helpless with mirth. The site had recorded my known views on the poem, so of course there were the usual hurt remarks below, saying for instance "you must try to like it" (no, actually I "must" do nothin' - to quote Barbossa). I'm sure the word "ungrateful" cropped up too; it usually does, to my complete bafflement.

But the laugh-out-loud bits - two priceless quotes:

1. "the fact that you sold it to (sic) a English GCSE exam board" Ha! Dear punter, GCSE exam boards in the UK are exempt from copyright. They can and do take and use anyone's work without paying, asking or even having the courtesy to inform them. Sell them anything? I'd like to see you try!

2. "I bet you still take the buckets of royalties that Sometimes brings in!" Oh, pick me up from the floor, someone! Now, Mr Know-all, please listen carefully. Most people who reprint poems don't bother to ask, and certainly don't offer money. That includes national newspapers; the Telegraph once reprinted this one, without my knowledge. Those that do ask are almost always representing charitable anthologies and don't have money to offer either, not that I wouldn't give them poems free for a charity I approve of; I'd just rather it wasn't this poem). As it happens, I do not accept money for this one because on the rare occasions I let some charity use it, I insist they leave my name off. But I'm not exactly losing much, because those anthologies etc that do offer money for reprints, which in my case happens maybe twice a year, will be offering about £20 if you're lucky. Yeah, rolling in it, us poets are.
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elephantina

Dr Blair's cook is outraged by the storage of parts of dead elephant in her kitchen, while his assistant Gilbert Orum, who is to make sketches and engravings of the beast, finds his mind turning to mortality:

Never mind, Miss Gloag!" shouted the doctor […] "Just think that your splendid kitchen has this evening played a part in the History of Philosophical Experiment!"
Miss Gloag expressed her ardent desire that Philosophical Experiment would rot slowly from its **** upwards, die painfully and be ****** by Satan forever. […]

All I can think of is Death: the age of an Elephant; the age of Man; the age of Woman. Three-score and ten is considered the usual allotted span of our years. But it seems to me that the age of Man is either grossly exaggerated or that it has diminished considerably since the days of the Patriarchs, for the common age of death among the people of Dundee is perhaps thirty or forty, by which time the trials and burdens of the world have taken their toll; a fresh-faced young woman of eighteen may turn, in a matter of three years of marriage, to a woman of middle years, haggard, bitter, bowed, lined, grey; a man of thirty will pass, within a twelve-month, to a white-haired cripple if he suffers one of many possible accidents in his labour

Florentia the elephant died at Dundee in 1706, and remained there in a stuffed condition, having been dissected by Dr Patrick Blair. It will be noted that another death was imminent, that of independent Scotland, for the Act of Union would be signed the following year and the negotiations leading up to it were going on while Dr Blair (an anti-unionist, who would later join the uprising of 1715) was busy on his elephant; indeed Blair explicitly compares his own dissections to those of the Commissioners "cutting and butchering the Body Politick of Scotland".

Of the real Gilbert Orum, engraver, not much is known, but here his imagined journal forms the basis of the novel. It is rediscovered in 1828 by a man using the pseudonym "Senex" and published, with Senex's footnotes, in tribute to Dr Blair. Senex, however, is both an ardent pro-unionist, which means he has constantly to blind himself to the views of his hero Blair, and a prig who disapproves vehemently of the caustic, independent-minded Orum without ever understanding him. His indignant footnotes to Orum's MS provide a rich comic seam running through the novel.

Orum is, in fact, a thoughtful, fallible, likeable narrator who comes to have his own agenda with regard to the elephant. Blair, dissecting and reassembling the skeleton, sees it purely in a scientific light, but Orum has a sense of it as a living creature – indeed he ends up being visited by its spirit – and wants, through his engravings, "to ensure that the world knew what the Elephant had looked like, how it moved, how it lived". Meanwhile though, he also has his family's pressing financial problems to consider, and frequently staves them off by selling various bits of elephant to interested parties.

What is the elephant? We should never forget that she was real; she lived, and died alone and in exile (as will Orum's descendant who inherits the journal and hands it on before departing for Canada, only to die almost as soon as he gets there). But what does she connote, apart from herself? Scotland? Knowledge? A cause; something to live for? All are possible; the novel's sub-title, "A Huge Misunderstanding", rather suggests that no one sees everything about her, like the six blind men in the Hindu proverb who feel different parts of the beast and come to six different conclusions about its appearance.

A final irony: this book about a huge beast is easily his shortest and sparest so far. But that doesn't mean there's any lack of the usual wit, fascinating detail and thought-provoking strangeness that characterises his writing. I've read my way through all his four novels now, more's the pity, and cannot wait for number 5.
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I'm a writer with a book on a WJEC Eng Lit AS-Level syllabus. When I lived on the mainland, therefore, I used to get asked to do a lot of school visits, and did, when I could, ie when the place concerned was accessible by train from Cardiff, where I lived (I don't have good enough eyesight to drive).

Even then, I did sometimes wonder if we weren't making a lot of unnecessary trouble for ourselves, the writers and schools alike, by not using modern technology. Within Wales, the Wales Arts Council would help with funding school visits; outside it, the school had to find fees and expenses. But Skype didn't really happen much then, and of course there was always the faint chance of selling a book or two, so I kept at it.

Now, though, I live in the Shetland Islands, which means (a) that travel is more of an effort, and sometimes unreliable due to weather conditions, and (b) that expenses are a damn sight higher. This doesn't deter some schools from still wanting visits, even when they realise the exes would be in 3 figures. It deters me though; there's a limit to the amount of time I want to spend on the road. So I always suggest doing a "visit" via Skype. I've got the facility at home; it works well and I could both read and do Q & A sessions with it.

At this point the teacher at the other end of the email generally says s/he'll look into it and that's the last I ever hear. They run a mile at the idea. I can credit that maybe some English teachers are uneasy with even this simplest of technology, but they've got a classful of teenagers who could sort it for them! It would be cheaper for them, less hassle for the writer and just the same as being there (easy enough to use a projector so that everyone can see the computer screen), but they won't have it. So the visit doesn't happen, either in person or electronically.

At least, being a poet, I don't have an agent. I gather life is even more complicated for those who do. A playwright who has just had a play produced is told she should be promoting herself by turning up on theatre doorsteps in London, where she doesn't live and can't afford to travel, to push her work. Theatres and agents, all of course London-based, invite writers to come for meetings in London. When the impoverished writers shell out for the enormous train fare and take time off any work they're lucky enough to have, it turns out that what is being discussed at the meeting could equally well have been done via email. The excuse, on the other side, is always "but I want to meet face to face". The playwright has offered Skype meetings, but gets the same "it's better face to face" line. What do they think Skype is? IT'S TWO PEOPLE FACE TO FACE, folks!

Seriously, this attitude on the part of agents, publishers, facilitators in general discriminates against any writer who lives outside London, who's on a low income, who's working and can't readily take time off (and most young writers need a proper job to live) and against any writer who's disabled and for whom travel is thus more onerous. Do you really want to be doing that? And in an age when we actually have perfectly good alternatives? When I worked in the civil service, and in higher education, it soon became clear that meetings, by and large, were not a way of working; they were a way of interrupting work and inconveniencing the maximum number of people for small return. I've no reason to believe they are any more productive in the arts. Get over this face to face fetish and find out how Skype, email and videoconferencing work, for heaven's sake.
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I’m thinking about plagiarism at the moment – well, everyone in the poetry business is – but not so much about why people do it, more about why they often get away with it so long. I don’t think there is a single easy answer, but two elements seem to me to be an undue emphasis on “personal story” and an inexactness both in writing and reading.

See, here’s a poem by Laurence Lieberman (The Osprey Suicides) which describes, in quite a lot of informed detail, an osprey diving on a garfish. Next the Australian poet Graham Nunn writes, or I should say constructs, a poem called “The Goshawk”, using techniques he describes as sampling, mixing, or, most memorably “ I’m reading a poem or listening to a song that a door opens and my mind flashes with images from my personal history. It may be a phrase, a line, a metaphor that triggers this, but when it occurs, I give myself over to the images and ensure I capture them. In doing this, the framework of the poem is used to tell my own story and parts of the original text are creatively appropriated in the formation of a new work”. Quite a few parts of Lieberman's poem, in fact, like the phrases “traces the periphery”, “drops like a discharged projectile” and “like a small geyser”. Hm. (It’s archived on this page, though you need to scroll down some). What Nunn does change, though, is an osprey into a goshawk. But this transformation seems to have been a little incomplete, because this remarkable goshawk is still, like the osprey, diving into the sea and hauling out a fish (mullet this time). That will come as a surprise to the RSPB, who are under the impression that the goshawk is a land bird which eats small mammals and birds.

This, of course, makes a nonsense of the “personal story” claim. The osprey poem cannot possibly have recalled to Nunn a personal memory of a goshawk acting as no goshawk ever did. The claim is, ironically in the circumstances, symptomatic of a modern attitude that a poem is somehow validated by being “true” or part of one’s “personal story”. This may in fact be one reason people plagiarise: if their own personal story isn’t interesting enough, they don’t think first of embellishing it or going beyond it, as you’d expect a writer of fiction to do, but rather of nicking someone else’s, like some wannabe mis-mem author who hasn’t had quite enough mis happen to them.

What’s more alarming is that it took me two readings of the goshawk poem to realise it had to be baloney. Once it dawned, of course, it was obvious; I am no ornithologist but I do know the habits of the commoner birds. That first time, I hadn’t read properly or carefully; I had registered “goshawk” as “bird”, as in “yet another bird poem”. And since the poem has been online for over a year without anyone, apparently, pointing out the error of this fowl’s ways, I can’t be the only one.

A reader who was a keen birdwatcher would have spotted it straight off, but so, to be honest, should most readers. A lot of people have been marvelling that plagiarists can get away with it for so long, and speculating that this just shows how few people actually read poetry,. I think it shows how carelessly we sometimes read. And, sometimes, write. I have read prizewinning (and non-plagiarised) poems which got some detail of the landscape or event wrong, not creatively wrong as in changed for the sake of the poem, which is fine, but plain ignorantly wrong, as in importing an animal into an island where it doesn’t exist, or making a plant flower in the wrong season. For any reader who notices this, the poem is ruined, because the writer’s eye can no longer be trusted: we are liars by trade, but you can only give the main narrative verisimilitude if you get the details accurate. W S Gilbert was dead right about that. The kind of writer who dismisses such errors as unimportant is, I suspect, also in thrall to the “personal story” notion. His poem isn’t really about the event or environment where it’s set; it’s all about him, and as long as he gets himself right, he thinks the details don’t matter. But they do, or they would, if we always read as attentively as we ought. My current excuse is that for months I had been reading books for a shortlist, as closely as I could, and I'd let myself relax as a result. Mea culpa.
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Just been reading an interesting article on how to design a cover for your self-published book. At one point it said "Many writers choose to get a professional cover designer to help them out. The cost of this service starts at around £100 / $150 and goes up to £1,000 / $1,500 depending on the experience of the designer or demand for their work". It went on to explain how those who didn't have the readies could DIY, which sounded like a hell of a lot of work for anyone who wasn't used to it.

It was at this point that I realised why I would never go down the self-publishing route. The DIY option isn't really on for someone who has neither IT expertise nor any flair at all for design. But I literally couldn't bear to start actually shelling out money to get someone else to do it. I don't make much from publishing, but it has never actually cost me anything more than postage and I have a rooted objection to the idea that it ever might. The thing about self-publishing is that you have to start by spending cash, not only for cover design but for actually creating your artefact at all. The alternative is to build up expertise in fields that may not interest you - I am, I realise, prepared to spend a lot of time and trouble researching and writing a book, absolutely none producing the artefact (I suspect, by the way, that an awful lot of poets resemble me in this; we are not, by and large, the practical type). I want to send it off to a publisher and let him do all that. This I can currently do, and not a penny spent...

What if I didn't have a publisher; what if print publication became really difficult to attain? Would I do it then? No, I don't think I would. I know how to put something online without paying any money; I would do that instead. Sure, it wouldn't make me any money - but neither would it cost me any. About 350 years ago, the German epigrammatist Friedrich von Logau wrote
"Es bringt Poeterey zwar nicht viel Geld ins Haus,
Das drinnen aber ist, das wirft sie auch nicht raus" - which means, more or less, "It's true that writing poetry doesn't bring much money into the house, but at least it doesn't cause you to squander what little there is". I translated it, once, as
"The Muse will never make you rich, it's true,
But she costs less than most mistresses do".

Those who write what could, potentially, make megabucks may have an incentive to speculate in order to accumulate. Literally no poets fall into that category (and the few who make a reasonable income will probably never want for a publisher). I can only see self-publishing working for poets who have some publishing and design skills, or enough money not to mind paying others to use theirs. So you'd potentially have two groups in print: design and IT whizzes and the equivalent of yesterday's gentlemen and lady amateurs - an interesting mix. But if my Muse ever starts charging, she's out the door.
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Here's an intractable problem for you. The LRB has very few female contributors and it reviews too few books by women. A reader explains to them that she is letting her subscription lapse until this is rectified. Editor writes back. He would love to rectify the situation. But how? It's terribly complicated: "If you were interested, I’d be glad to discuss with you, perhaps in an email exchange, why it may be that women are underrepresented in the paper. I think they’re complicated; actually, as complicated as it gets." (They? Does he mean women are complicated? Or did he perchance think he had used the word "reasons" in his previous sentence?) It keeps him awake at night, but what can he possibly do: "despite the distress it causes us [...] the proportion of women in the paper remains so stubbornly low, the efforts we’ve made to change the situation have been hopelessly unsuccessful."

Poor chap. Can anyone advise him of a way out of this fearful hole?
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Review of For Rhino in a Shrinking World, ed. Harry Owen, illustrated by Sally Scott, pub. The Poets Printery, South Africa, 2013
rhino
For Rhino in a Shrinking World is an international anthology of poems and illustrations produced to raise awareness of the endangerment of rhino through poaching and to support the work of protecting them. All contributors have donated their work, and all proceeds go to the Chipembere Rhino Foundation.

Harry Owen began the project out of shock at the brutality of this trade, but, very sensibly, the book does not harp on horror; it is described in the introduction but gruesome facts are pretty much confined there, so as not to exclude the many concerned people who simply can't handle seeing such things illustrated or spoken of explicitly. If you're among them, you can read this book without fear of nightmares.

Not all the poems specifically concern rhino; some are more generally related to issues of conservation and despoliation. All have a cause in mind, though, and I wouldn't claim that all manage to completely avoid the great pitfall of polemic, namely being too obvious and approaching the reader with a linguistic club rather than a rapier. But this doesn't happen nearly as often as it might, and there are in fact many fine examples of how to get ideas across subtly, from Harry Owen's own poem "Your Tour Guide Speaks", where future tourists at the "Serengeti Roadshow" are invited to admire "elefords", "catillacs" and "audilope" rather than the real thing, through Marc Vincenz's "Crushed Dragon Bones", which dares to describe neutrally and leave all judgement to the reader, to Philip Neilsen's "The Dead Are Bored", a textbook example of how to write straight polemic and make it work by not forgetting to pay attention to rhythms and language.

For a European reader, a great bonus is hearing non-European voices describing unfamiliar landscapes – Amali Rodrigo swimming with seals is especially memorable, but Adam Tavel, Mxousi Nyezwa and several others transport us effortlessly across the world to great effect.

Poems that would impress in any company include Marc Vincenz's "Supermolecular", catching the rhythms, momentum and soundtrack of a whole natural world, Susan Richardson's "You'll never become a rhinoceros", getting inside another skin as well as Les Murray could, and my own favourite, Tony Williams' "Dear Rhino, Love from Hippo", a tour-de-force of language, imagery, humour and empathy with three species at once:

In the past month
I have eaten a rare fly, a wristwatch
a silhouette, odd chunks of my rivals' chins
and a vast tonnage of hay which you,
dense hoover of the midday sun, missed
when the eternal salad drawer of the night
clanked open as you slept.

Anyone could enjoy this book for the poems and the illustrations, but you can also have the happy consciousness of helping to protect a harmless and remarkable beast if you go to this page now. It's a most handsome, well-produced volume, no more expensive than you'd expect for an illustrated book, and anyhow, think where the money's going…
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Poets Against Atos is an online project collecting poems inspired by the distress inflicted on disabled people by ATOS, the body which conducts, on behalf of the government, disability assessments for people claiming a range of benefits and appears principally determined to do so in such a way as to add to their troubles. Many poets have contributed to it, me among others, (though I cheated by making a found poem out of quotes from various ancient medical oaths, which I was intrigued to find had a lot in common from Greece to China, and in none of them is to be found the injunction that it is any part of a doctor's job to save government money at the possible cost of his patient's health). Anyway, we now have the excellent news that, as was announced last night at the Stoke Newington Literary Festival, the Fit to Work: Poets Against Atos campaign has won the inaugural Morning Star Award for Protest in Poetry 2013. This might be the moment to note that the Morning Star, and its poetry editor Jody Porter, take more interest in poetry than just about any other British newspaper, tabloid or broadsheet. Its weekly poetry column, Well Versed, has some brilliant stuff and is well worth trying to get into.
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Did a quick interview-by-email for Metro on this yesterday, some of which is in this article. If I'd known at the time what Ewan Morrison was saying, I might have pointed out more forcefully that "originality" and "literary quality" are a long way from being synonyms and that mixing two widely disparate source properties wasn't first invented in the internet age. As for "They don’t know about story structure and they don’t know about characters"... don't get me started... I wonder how much, if any, he's read.
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Bartleby Snopes' list of things that generally turn them off would be more use to writers if it weren't such a hodgepodge. It contains things that should always, not generally, turn an editor off, like poor writing, poor editing, undeveloped characters and punch endings, but also another set of current writing tics - second person, third person present tense - that are tiresomely prevalent but can work if well done and some overworked themes and settings - marriage, writers, bars - that can also work if well done.

I've judged story comps and know what they mean, though I'd put it positively rather than negatively: I would try not to sigh at the 15th story in the present tense, but one in past tense would probably have a head start (which it'd soon lose if badly written). But it's certainly true that there are not only overworked themes but overworked stylistic tics, and that's true for poems too, though they are often different. The last poetry competition I judged, I swear there were half a dozen poems about bees, God knows why, but obviously after the first couple, the rest had a hill to climb. (And please, don't bother to write the one about telling the bees someone's died, it must have been done scores of times.)

Another ubiquitous poem theme that, unusually, is common to stories too these days is caring for someone with Alzheimers. There's no point in suggesting people avoid this theme; it's clearly a major concern of today or it wouldn't be ubiquitous. But if you want an editor or judge to recall yours, rather than the other two dozen, you need an individual angle. Humour is a good bet, especially since in itself this theme is bound to depress the reader.

Poetry has its fashionable technical tics too - like ending on an "as if" clause, or what I think of as the Billy Collins ending, where a "but" in the last few lines sends the poem off on a whole different tack. It can work well, too, it just gets wearisome after the first ten or so. Similarly with the Simon Armitage What If Poem, where we start in reality but suddenly go off, like Corporal Jones, into the realms of fantasy.

I would not make lists, because rules are made for breaking. Tell someone that four adjectives in a line is seldom a good plan and they'll quote you "Sweet day: so cool, so calm, so bright" - and quite right too; as long as there are George Herberts about, there is nothing that cannot be successfully done in poetry. And there are limits to how far you can change either your style or your themes (which generally choose you). But if you want a judge or an editor to recall you out of a pile, it's probably as well to be thinking, not just "does it work" but "does it work better, or differently, than the next five s/he'll read in that vein".
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I'd already heard about Amazon deleting book reviews for no other reason than that they were written by authors - not the authors of the books under review, just authors in general. It's being done on the ground that they are potentially "people with a financial interest in the product or a directly competing product". Clearly, this is an attempt to combat cases, recently highlighted, where authors have either puffed their own books or trashed those of rivals, under assumed names (and it is in the anonymity that the problem really lies: if Amazon insisted on people using only one posting account and that in their real name, it couldn't happen). But according to one of the comments under this article they are also going after reviews that have been published on reviewers' own blogs, on the basis of their exclusion of "reviews that [...] have been previously published elsewhere" (see their guidelines) Apart from being a heavy-handed response, this is a brilliant way to diminish the quality of Amazon reviewing at a stroke; some of their best reviewers are authors and literary bloggers, which is hardly surprising. If you're an author who does reviews on Amazon, don't link your review profile to your author profile in any way; this seems to trigger their response.
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This (by solicitor Louise Restell) is a fascinating article, perhaps especially to writers, and the more I read it, the less I think there are any easy answers to most of the questions it raises.

Most writers probably don't give a thought to what might happen to their FB profile when they die, despite the fact that it may contain fascinating background information on their methods, not to mention even more fascinating spats with fellow writers. All the stuff, in fact, that once might have been available to biographers or literary critics in diaries or letters - only most of this will not be similarly available, for though FB will "memorialise" a profile by providing space for an obituary and allowing Facebook friends to leave posts on the wall for remembrance, it will delete all status updates. (I don't know what would happen to comments by the dead person on the status updates of others, and it's an interesting thought, for removing them would inevitably misrepresent the discussion in question.)

This may not matter a damn to the deceased, but it does potentially matter to literary critics, and indeed historians in general, if we're talking of users other than writers. We probably record more of our lives than ever our pre-internet ancestors did, but ironically their sepia photographs, Mass Observation Project diaries, rolls of cine film and sheaves of letters tied in ribbon may still be there when our online diaries, Flickr albums and YouTube videos have long vanished in the ether.

It may of course also matter to friends and relatives who would like to keep these memories of the departed, to read through their status updates as you would a diary. As far as I can see, they can't, unless the whole lot is backed up somewhere else, which may be a grief to them. One could, as the article suggests, leave one's passwords handy with one's will, but the surviving relatives may not be in a state to do much about it for some time, which could be too late.

The alternative scenario, of course, is when the deceased didn't want their nearest and dearest to have access to their online persona, which may not have been the same as their real-life one. Both FB and Yahoo refuse to provide relatives with the password of a dead person, and the article gives instances of relatives challenging this. Though one can understand why, I tend to agree with FB and Yahoo (for a wonder) that the dead have a right to privacy. "After all", says the article, "if you’d written it all down in a journal or letter there would be hard copies for your survivors to find". Well yes, but you might well have intended to destroy them if you'd had time, and in the case of online material you might not have thought you needed to. Not giving your relatives your password strikes me as the equivalent of encrypting a written diary; it makes your wish for privacy fairly clear.

It's also possible, if you are a writer, that you may not want to remove material altogether from the web, but just to keep it from the view of your family. I'm thinking here of some fan fiction writers who work pseudonymously, and in particular of one I knew online, though I never met her. By what I could deduce of her real-life personality from interaction on forums etc, she was a rather conventional middle-aged married lady of, indeed, quite conservative views on most things. Her writing, however, was surprisingly and graphically sexual and violent; it was nothing much out of the way in her online writing community, but if her family, after her death (which was somewhat sudden and unexpected) had been able to access her passwords and pseudonyms and discovered this other side to her, I can't imagine they would have been other than shocked, not so much by the material as by the fact that they hadn't known her as well as they thought. Some fan fiction writers indeed leave passwords and other information with friends in the community, precisely so that after they die, their writing can stay available to the community but not to their families, who never knew of it. The writing isn't always of a violent or sexual nature either; it is just a side of themselves that they wanted to share only with a particular group of people.

This may well also be the case with the poor lad mentioned in the article, who committed suicide and whose parents want access to his online accounts. I can see why they feel it would give them an insight into his state of mind, but it's an insight he may not have wished them to have. I'm mighty averse to the idea that Yahoo or FB should be forced to give out passwords in such cases or, I think, in any case, but as I said, I don't think there are many easy answers here.

I do think folk with a lot of stuff online, like photos, videos etc, should think about backing it up, unless of course their motto is "après moi, le déluge". As for social media, it's easy to say that one should remember it is a fleeting medium and that anything you really want to preserve needs to be, at the very least, in a more secure online space like a personal blog. But in practice, you can't tell which casual post will turn into a truly fascinating and illuminating debate. A great deal of interaction between writers via social media is going to be lost. You may say, so was conversation in literary salons, but in fact the best of it was often recorded later in diary or letter form. Does that happen now? Is an admiring retweet any more likely to survive than its original?
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This is a post for fellow Goodreads users who, like me, are fed up with the nuisance of unsolicited emails saying "be my friend on Goodreads" (and I know there are such users because they've been complaining on the same forums I've been using). I use Goodreads to put book reviews on. Sometimes I read those of others, but it's possible to "follow" people's reviews without doing the whole friending thing and I was never into that - FB and Twitter are enough. A few people I knew well became friends, and that was fine. Now and again someone else would ask - again, mostly folk I knew. At least one, whom I didn't know, turned out to be a colossal bore who was only on Goodreads to promote her own work, but that could happen anywhere.

Friends requests were not a pest, because they were rare. Suddenly they are anything but - on a bad day I'll get half a dozen emails and I know others have been finding the same. I got in touch with a nice lady at customer services called Claire. She advised making sure the account wasn't associated with any other, like Facebook, and setting a "secret question" that potential requesters had to answer. I duly did all this, but unfortunately the "secret question" only applies to anyone who doesn't already know your email address, and mine needs to be public for work reasons. So it's made no real odds. I also tried saying on my profile that I didn't do the friends thing and would ignore all requests. That didn't work; people clearly don't read the profile before firing off their request.

I'd asked Claire if there was any way of just opting out of all friends requests. There isn't but she gave some hope that they might think about it. After another slew of emails, I've asked her again if there's any likelihood of this. If she comes back and says no, I'm going to delete the account. That'll mean all the reviews go, but most are elsewhere, either on my blog or on Amazon.

I'd be sorry to do this, because the more reviews are out there, the better for writers, and most of mine are, deliberately, of stuff that isn't getting much reviewed elsewhere. But it won't be worth the hassle unless they can make it possible to opt out of these requests. Since I know there are others having this problem, I'll let you know what response I get from Goodreads. In the meantime, if you too want a way out of this nuisance, I'd suggest emailing and telling them so, because they do seem to listen and reply.
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To be precise, I now have a recording in the Poetry Archive, that magnificent project started by Andrew Motion, while he was laureate, to record poets reading their own work. (Though I also got to read a bit of George Herbert while doing it, which was immense fun, because they let you read one poem from someone who lived too early to be recorded.) There's a CD, from which you can find sample poems on the web page. Thanks to all concerned.

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