sheenaghpugh | A poem from the 80s

This is a VERY old poem; I wrote it in the 80s and it was in my then Selected, but old times come around and around and I just had a yen to post it here. I was a civil servant when I wrote it, and quite enjoyed the challenge of writing a poem in officialese.

OFFICIAL BRIEFING FOR MINISTERS ON THE VIOLENCE IN THE CAPITAL

As Ministers will be aware already,
the recent spring festival was marred
when a brief but violent incident occurred
in the church. The full facts are not easy
to establish, because accounts vary,

but it seems that on the day in question
hard-working persons with a licence to trade
on church premises, duly granted
by the civic authorities, were upon
their lawful business, when a young man

who had some objection to their presence
began vandalising their property
(mainly currency and pigeons), eventually
driving them out with some violence,
(a whip was rumoured to be in evidence).

The man is a disaffected itinerant
whose motives are not entirely clear;
he is said to have called his victims either
"thieves", or, by another account,
"businessmen". In either event,

for the Minister's interview our advice
is to focus on the clear contempt
for law and order, the arrogant attempt
to impose the whims of minorities
and the interference with private enterprise,

which might very likely have put
jobs at risk. A police investigation
should soon result in charges against the man,
who, though a minor youth cult, is not
in himself a serious threat, it is thought.